Remedy
by gingerbread-iplier
Summary: Cori Giselde was an ordinary girl in our world, before she is attacked by a giant mutant Angel demon thing and gets all 3 voices of Deadpool stuck in her head. Will she be able to get them out before the whole world goes down in flames? 4th wall breaks, Language, sexual innuendo. Deadpool/OC.
1. Prologue

**(Blah): Funny, crazy voice in Deadpool's head.**

**[Blah]: Serious voice in Deadpool's head.**

**-Blah-: Deadpool.**

***Blah*: Cori when talking with the Deadpools in her head.**

Some say our lives are planned out even before we are born.

Some say our fate is down to our abilities and mentality.

And I suppose, there are those who believe that it is due to a combination of both.

But quite frankly, I think it's all down to sheer dumb luck.

I could never explain what happened that night, in the dark of night, shrouded in the hood that my boyfriend, Gregory, had given me before he had died so many years ago.

The shadows were lightly dancing across my face as the cold bit into my exposed skin, and I had to close my eyes as the wind picked up slightly.

Suddenly, there was this sound. Panic gripped my heart and I stopped, just listening.

When the noise came again, I turned to watch. There stood a man in a white suit, wings spread from his back, one white, one black. Little horns were on his head, and his eyes were an orange that reminded me of my mother's pumpkin pie.

He stepped forward, and my fight or flight response decided to kick in. My body turned, running the other way.

Suddenly, something thin and metallic had curled itself around my waist, digging into my skin.

Pain roared to life all over my body, before everything went black.

Now, readers, this story gets sorta crazy from here. What? You thought it was crazy before? You must be out of your damn mind. Let's get to 3rd person. Maybe that'll explain this messed up sh*t.

(3rd person)

The young woman with cherry red/brown hair and dark green eyes lay motionless on the stark white of the carpet in her apartment, where she mysteriously appeared.

Her name is Cori Giselde.

As she started to stir awake, something tried speaking in her mind.

She lazily opened her eyes and groaned as pain pounded through her head. Damn, how did she get there?

(Do you remember the angel devil dude?)

Cori gasped and bolted up when she heard a strangely familiar voice, staying stock still and looking around.

No one?

[Well, yes and no. We're inside your head.]

Cori jumped again at the next voice, and then realization washed across her face.

-Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!-

**OK, so that's the prologue. Will continue, don't worry. I just have to continue writing Lies (Lila) for Invader Zim. There will be a sequel to this where Cori goes into their world, but I won't spoil any major plot points for you. Favorite, follow, REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**(Blah): Funny, crazy voice in Deadpool's head.**

**[Blah]: Serious voice in Deadpool's head.**

**-Blah-: Deadpool.**

***Blah*: Cori when talking with the Deadpools in her head.**

**Yeah, I'm starting the next chapter! Plus, I may add the X-Men and/or the Avengers in later. Plus, the plot is going to get more prominent soon! And I've already written the ending. Yes, but not everything in between. I got bored. And it's the ending of the first part. The second part is Poison. And I am so sorry for not updating. It's been a long month…**

Cori stood stock still in the middle of her living room, listening to the silence that was now surrounding her.

"Deadpool?"

-You need pouches, weapons. Do you have any tacos?-

Cori shut her eyes and growled slightly.

[What's wrong now?]

Cori went into the kitchen and opened the door.

(Cool, we have breasts!)

Suddenly, Cori's hands moved of their own accord and went up to grasp at her boobs.

Cori turned red and yanked her arms down.

"Deadpool!"

-What, sweetheart?-

"Why are you in my head, and why did you use my arms?"

(Cause we only have breasts for a little while!)

"Cori."

Cori yelped in surprise and turned to look at her new husband, Max.

They hadn't been married for long.

They had met right after Gregory had died 4 years ago. Max had been at the funeral, and they had dated for 3 hellish years before Max made her get married to him.

Max was an abusive bastard who only cared about himself, and how much money he was getting from Cori.

-Who is that?-

Cori cast her eyes down slightly, watching the floor. "Yes Max?"

Deadpool listened intently as he tried to comprehend what was happening, then snapped backward when Max went forward and grabbed Cori by her forearms.

"Cori, you were late. Where were you?" He growled, almost a demand, not a question.

"I don't know." She whispered truthfully.

Then Max's hand was in the air, and when the slapping sound resounded through the room, Deadpool hardened, and took over.

Cori came to in a boat, water lapping onto the side of it. Blood covered her, not her blood, and a backpack sat against her, and she moaned in pain as the harsh light burned in her eyes.

"Deadpool…. What the hell happened?"

-You don't have a problem with that abusive bastard anymore.-

"Damnit, Diet Mountain Dew."

(Um…. What?)

"It's a song. Fuck, where are we?"

[Somewhere safe. Isn't that enough?]

"No." Cori stood in the boat and promptly puked over the side when the boat swayed dangerously.

[Something wrong?]

"I get sea sick." Cori shut her eyes and let the rocking get pushed to the back of her mind, willing her nausea away. Music started in her pocket and she cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"From the top and the bottom, the bottom to the top. It's all good if the party don't stop. From the top and the bottom, the bottom to the top. All y'all bitches better take another shot!"

Cori quickly grabbed her phone and answered the call. "Hello?"

"_Cori, oh my god, you answered! Where the hell have you been?! It's been 3 days!" _Her mother's voice cried from the phone.

Cori face palmed.

*Seriously, 3 fucking days?*

-Hey, we were saving you!-

"I'm sorry mom."

"_You should be sorry! Where are you?!" _Cori looked around her. There was a river, she realized, and then she also realized exactly where they- no, she was. She was just a little insane, Deadpool wasn't in her mind!

(Yes we are~!)

"Oh my fucking lord. I'm in the Arkansas river."

How had she got from Oregon to Oklahoma?

-We found something awesome out! You have our powers!-

Cori promptly fainted.

-Remedy-

Wade slowly stood, wobbly on Cori's legs. "So, I still have my healing factor, still have my flexibility and strength, I even have the satchel with all my unlimited weapons! Cori can now speak all my languages, teleport, drive everything from golf carts to spaceships, make holographic disguises, and can break the fourth wall! Which reminds me! I NEED REVIEWS! NNNNNEEEEEEDDDD THEM!" He yelled, jumping up and down in the boat. The backpack he had put on bounced on his back harshly, and the boat moved dangerously side to side.

"Oh no, the boobs weigh me down!" He cried, stumbling.

(But they're so fun to touch!)

[I wouldn't.]

Wade brought the boat to the side of the river, got out, and slipped the phone into Cori's pocket, ending the call.

*Deadpool, what are you doing?*

Wade shrugged. "Getting food, drinks, something." He fixed the backpack and trekked towards the nearest city, which happened to be Tulsa, Oklahoma.

He looked around before pushing the door open to the nearest restaurant he saw. The warm smell hit his nose and he breathed in. It almost felt… nice, not being a mercenary and killing people every other day.

"What would you like, miss?" Wade cocked an eyebrow at the woman on the other side of the counter, then realized he was still in Cori's body.

"Pie." Wade blinked in surprise, then understood that Cori had said that, with her body.

"Alright ma'am, just sit and tell me which you would like."

"I'll take the pumpkin pie, please." Cori said, and Wade nearly rolled his eyes- well, Cori's eyes.

This was getting confusing. The woman nodded and left.

*Well, what's the plan, Deadpool?*

-The plan is backpack to New York and find the rift to get me back to my world.-

Cori thought a moment, then asked, *Can I come with you?*

Wade stopped. He really froze. –No, you have people and things here.-

*The hell I do! I have nothing for me here.* She answered, him, and then it went silent.

The pie was produced, and Wade gave the woman the money she wanted, before starting to eat.

*I'm coming with you.*

-Yeah, we'll see.-

**I'll try and update soon. Thank you for reading! I kind of blurted this out so you guys have something, even though it's short. Favorite, follow, review.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**(Blah): Funny, crazy voice in Deadpool's head.**

**[Blah]: Serious voice in Deadpool's head.**

**-Blah-: Deadpool.**

***Blah*: Cori when talking with the Deadpools in her head.**

**BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THIS! HAHAHA I'M ALIVE! Anyways, I've been working on a story called Mango Shaped Space and another called Who'd Have Known (7 Nights At Jack's), so sorry for this being left alone for so long.**

**You guys are so lucky, I had no intention of writing today, but I was looking through my old stories and… well… here ya go. **

**Review, please.**

Cori tipped the Red Bull she and Wade had bought a while back into her mouth, successfully draining the last of the drink.

(I guess we're staying up ALL night!)

[Well of course we are, how else are we going to get to New York?]

Cori chuckled lightly. "You guys are insane. I don't know why I'm allowing you to drag me into the craziness that is your world." Wade gave an eye roll inside her head and she raised one eyebrow. Wade got bored rather quickly and started singing a random song that had got into their head.

Cori froze at the song, then started singing along with it. "This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, That white gold, this one, for them hood girls, them good girls, straight masterpieces!"

-Stylin', while in-

(Livin' it up in the city)

[Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent…]

"Gotta kiss myself I'm so pretty!" Cori sang out, then continued. "I'm too hot!"

[Hot damn.]

"Call the police and the fireman… I'm too hot!"

(Hot damn!)

Suddenly Cori stopped, grinning like a mad lady. –What?- Wade asked, and Cori jumped off the ledge they had came to and plummeted. "Oh, my healing factor!" Wade cried using Cori's mouth in realization.

Cori landed and splattered onto the ground. There was a moment of tense silence before her body knit itself together and she stood, cracking her back and neck. "Ok, ow!" She winced, rubbing her head. Cori and Wade quickly agreed to run fast and far away from the blood stains on the ground and left.

"Well, now you know-!" Wade started, but then Cori said, "Hey, stop using my mouth!"

"I'll use it if I want to!

"I want to use my own mouth when I want to!"

"If you want reviews on your story, you'll let me do more things around here!"

"Really, I'm in a story?"

"Yes you are, there are… 5 reviews on the story already!"

"Stop breaking the 4th wall, 4everfictional will get annoyed with us."

Cori suddenly froze. "Did I- I just…"

"You broke the 4th wall! Really well, it's probably cause you got my powers."

"Shut the fuck up."

Cori slowed down now, stopping at the door of a bar. *I could use some liquor.*

(Jeeze, when are you from? It's called booze!)

[Alcohol.]

-Yeah, let's fill us up! Maybe now that we're in a human we'll be able to- no hold on. Sorry, you can't get drunk while you have our healing factor.-

Cori scowled and passed the bar, continuing through the town.

*How long until we get to New York?*

-My teleporter can get us a little farther, faster, but…-

[We don't have enough power to get us the whole way.]

Cori braced herself for teleporting, and when she opened her eyes, she was on the outskirts of… Indiapolis Indiana?

*Walking the rest of the way?*

-Walking the rest of the way…-

(Hey, for all you readers out there, best track for this next montage of Cori and Wade is Underdog by Imagine Dragons!)

Cori skipped through the town, happily humming to herself.

-Look, coffee!-

Cori bounded into the café and ordered Wade his preferred Vanilla frappe and her hazelnut iced coffee.

They also got some food, scones, breakfast sandwiches, etc. In their backpack the food went as Cori and Wade took turns drinking their drinks in their shared body.

*You know, I kinda like having you inside of me.*

Wade giggled.

*Stop it, Deadpool, I didn't mean it sexually.*

Wade laughed out loud in Cori's mind.

"Let's just go." Cori mumbled.

She finished the hazelnut iced coffee first, throwing the cup away.

-You know, there's so many things we could do before finishing up at New York.-

Cori froze.

"Really?"

-Well, yeah, you only have me in your head for so long! We can go see some celebrities, kidnap YouTubers, kill squirrels-

"Stop it, we're not killing squirrels. Can you guys tell us what to do? Cause he's right, I don't want to just go to New York and end our story there. Well, not end it-!"

-You're not coming with me.-

Cori snickered.

Wade followed suit. *That's dirty, Wade.*

-Of course it is! Let's stop and eat.-

Cori sat down on the grass in the park they stopped at, laying down a blanket to put their backpack on.

She pulled out 1 of the sandwiches and 2 vanilla scones, plus one of their water bottles.

They sat down and started to eat.

(Hey, we can talk with our mouths full to each other and not be rude!)

Cori laughed a little, taking a sip of their water.

*We should get a job, some money, so that we have a little more leg room. We should also get a hotel room.*

[Motel room, those are cheaper.]

Cori smiled and put the blanket and water bottle away, putting on their backpack.

As she munched on the last scone, she scouted for a Motel.

"Thar she blows!" Wade yelled with her mouth, and Cori rolled her eyes in their mind.

"Hello, would you like a room?" The man at the desk asked.

Cori nodded and payed for their room, accepting the keys.

They trekked up the stairs to their room and opened it before dropping the backpack on the floor.

"Today has been a long day." Cori sighed, before putting her phone on the charger and hesitating with her hand on her pajamas.

"… Wade… I don't want to change in front of you…"

"I'm not that bad, hey, I'll 'close my eyes'."

(Hehehe, I won't!)

Cori rolled her eyes, decided her exasperation with Wade was less than her exhaustion, and changed into her pajamas.

"Good night, Wade…" Cori yawned, before getting under the covers of their bed.

"… good night, Cori…"

**Eh, there you go. Follow, favorite, review? Ye or ne?**


End file.
